Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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