i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
