she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
