the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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