Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
