have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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