you guys were way drunker than both of me
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
