I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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