More tranny stories later!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
