She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Even the bartender felt bad for me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
