I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I want is dick and wine.
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