i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just had sex on a roof
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
