clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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