And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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