the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
