I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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