I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
