My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
