He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
