I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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