so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
