the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
