We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
