I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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