You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
