I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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