im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
