& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
