I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My ass is underappreciated
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
