Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
