my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
