The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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