Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
