told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
