i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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