You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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