well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
