Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
