This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
