Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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