So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
