I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Houston, we have a blender
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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