I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
