found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
