Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
