cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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