Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
