thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
