Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
