Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
