Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
love makes seman taste better
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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