so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
