Dual....:-)
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
