tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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