I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
And then he peed in my hair
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